Would you have sex with a monkey if it had the mask of a woman’s face on it?

I have been asked what I think about the Occupy Wall Street movement, this is all I will say:

I support any kind of peaceful protest with the hope the “right” people in the “right” positions hear the call and take action.

Many of us have been saying things for years, whether it be musicians, writers, activists, artists, politicians, bankers, (yes, I know people in the banking industry that work on wall street who are not in line with what you might think they are), basically anyone whose ever had to work a day in their life.

My own being that the majority of people in this country are ignored and are held at bay by an at least deceptive and at worst wholly corrupt monetary power structure, which now more than ever is allowed to exist, if not perpetuated by the people we elect and whose salary our taxes pay.

So as long as the message (I’m sure there are many) is delivered accurately and this doesn’t just turn in to the cool thing to do, I love it. And I really hope some sort of good eventually makes it’s way to the street I occupy, in the 16th congressional district of new york, the poorest in the entire country. 

Keep it here, more information/candy will surface.

It’s been a while so…uh, here’s this shitty looking thing.

Well that shit came and went again, the country is now 38 or something? Or we don’t pay taxes to Britain cause of something, right? Anyway my holiday weekend is exactly why I hate all holi-birth-days, here’s a time line of events.

Feel free to do the Law and Order sound as you read on:

July 3rd) 11:39. PM met with friends at my local bar for drinks everything went well,

July 4th) 4:00 AM.  friends and I return to my house with bottle of tequila and beer. (I hate tequila) but I do not mix drinks, so If I start with you I stay with you, loyal to a fault in this case.

July 4th) 8:00 AM. smoked out, went to sleep

July 4th) 12:00 PM. holy crap I’m so hungover my hair hurts Die Antwoord is blasting on loop, my pee is angry and not waiting for the rest of me to wake. I run to the restroom, barley making it, Ahhhh relief! record amount of Urine, gallons maybe but totally feeling better after it. I’d better flush and get ready for the mass amounts of food/beer I will intake! Go to flush, toilet does not flush but rather over flows all over my stockinged hungover feet, No no no! I’m standing in my own pee, Plunger in effect! 

July 4th) 1:00 PM. still plunging, (Sidebar) anyone who has lived with me can attest to the rage I have in me when things like this happen. I am now speaking in tongues, full murder mode. Fuck Figit Farney Foam! BItchey Ballistien Banger Cocks! I am punching all things in my house, walls, pillows, books, hats, nothing is safe!

July 4th) 3:00 PM. The plunger isn’t working and I have to crap! I change clothes and go to the Diner to do so. People are looking at me as if I’ve escaped from Bellvue on the street “Happy Fourth Bobby” someone says, To which I reply, this country is run by horrible men who would kill all of us for the right price!

July 4th) 3:30 PM. Return home with toilet snake, this will do it and I can go catch the BBQ’s I was invited to and try to enjoy the rest of the day.

July 4th) 5:00 PM. Toilet snake does nothing, I am drenched in sweat, the bathroom smells like the port authortity, I am on the verge of tears, thoroughly defeated by all of this.

July 4th) 7:00 PM. 8 voice mails, Bobby where are you? Rob? you coming or what? Hey bitch boy, wake your lazy ass up and come through!

July 4th) 8:30 PM. I give up, can not go number 2 in my house, can only pee in sink.

July 4th) 10:00 PM Cut my hair off, watch fire works/sleep.

End.

Fourth of July safety tips with bob

Some sort of video in which you feel as if you are rolling.

Rachel Ray, you have finally won, I can not fight any longer. I have no idea why I know who you are, but I do and I am a better person for it.

I am glad you made a dog food named “Delish”  I’m glad I can not channel surf with out being aware of your presence. You are the coral reef of modern regularly scheduled programming, both unassuming yet vital, daunting yet serene. 

Now normally someone who sounds like an aerated lawn looks would be off putting to someone who makes music his life but I can see now. The timber in your siren is not unlike the buzzing of a honey bee or the breath of the gentle wind against a wind chime hung carefully outside of a child’s bedroom to soothe him whilst he rest.

I know, I’ve always been one of your biggest detractors, but perhaps your beauty was to great, your pronunciation to correct? Perhaps you were so wonderful you inadvertently made the self inventory of this souls warehouse to tedious?

Please take these words as an offering, a sacrifice of what I knew before laid compliantly at your feet.

Thank you Rachel, thank you.

As a kid I loved Balloon Animals (for 2 minutes or so), because all I ever got was a Dachshund. It didn’t matter where I was, St. Patty’s Parade…Dachshund, McDonald’s… Mc’Dachsund, hell I’ve never even been to an Oktoberfest, so why all the German themed animals?

Ahhh, I still get a rush thinking about the little guys popping in my fat little mitts.

Perhaps all of this ill will towards my floating Fido’s would have been different if someone had made me this thing?

Or maybe this sweet assed thingy thing?

Nope, it would not have been.

If you are like me, which I know you are… peanut butter was a best childhood friend. I remember trying it on everything and anything, from the normal, (Bread, Jelly, Celery) to the bizarre, (Cheerios, Pasta, Chicken). It was just something I thought made everything better and it mostly did, Of course peanut butter and pasta is terrible, but you get the drift.

Now as an adult professional musician guy (what ever that means) this behavior has worked it’s way into my making of song, I basically love 808’s in everything, over driven synth/guitar lines. whatever the case… this style of making music is one I love and I feel like a dying method, why? Because no one likes artists that make the same sounding song twice “ever” not to mention on the same album.

I loved bands that would find sounds for a particular album and made albums that relied on signature styles, (Beatles Revolver, Led Zeppelins catalog) I loved Rappers for the same reason. If Run DMC had tried to change their style from song to song how the fuck would that look, but would kids now even like an album built around sounding uniform? I don’t know but I don’t care either.

The point is, this is something that is evident in all facets of my life and relationships and my music. For me to try and make an album full of completely different sounding songs is just something that goes against this guy and this guy has been in me forever.